ANDRE
Dress up a monkey in Armani,
He may seem precocious and cute.
Despite all that primpin',
You still got a chimp in a suit.
Teach him the second
Verse of "Swanee"
And most of "Moon River" to boot.
Sure peopl will gape
But you still got an ape
in a suit.
Shprizt him 'til wet
With the Eau de Toilette
And you're still gonna get
A stench.
Dampen him well
In a quart of Chanel,
It won't cover the smell-
I should know, I'm French!
Take him to see Don Giovanni,
Show him Cezanne's lovely fruit,
Teach him to cook
From Escoffier's book,
He's still a gorrila en croute-
You still got a chimp in a suit.
So you've shaved off his fur,
Decked him out in couture
And endowed him with pure
Savior Fare-
You dressed him up fancy
And trained him to dance, he
Remains a chimpan-cee,
He's not Fred Astaire!
Give him a dandy little topper,
Tie on a natty cravat
Buy him a castle,
He'll still be an asshole
And nothing you do will change
that-
He's still just a stinky little minkey
In a dinky little suit
And a cheap little hat!
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