Emmett:
Woah, Elle..What's up...Doc?
Elle:
Love.
Emmett:
'Scuse me?
Elle:
I put my faith in love.
I followed where it led..
Emmett:
Love led you here?
Elle:
To my personal circle of hell,
It has not worked out well,
I wish that I were dead.
'Cause instead of a wedding and love,
I'm flunking out of school,
A total laughingstock,
Someone he and his friends can just mock.
So, go on, here's my head, just hit it with a rock..!
Emmett:
Wait, go back.
You came out here to follow a man?
Harvard Law was just part of that plan?
Man, what rich romantic planet are you from?
Elle:
Malibu?
Emmett:
Instead of lying outside by the pool,
You stalk some guy to an Ivy League school?
That’s the weirdest reason I --
Elle:
Well, why’d you come?
Emmett:
Okay,
I grew up in the Roxbury slums,
With my mom and a series of bums,
Guys who showed me all the ways a man can
fail.
I got through law school by busting my ass;
Worked two jobs, in addition to class.
So forgive me for not weeping at your tale.
Elle:
Well excuse me! Just because you’ve got some
kind of chip on your shoulder...
Emmett:
You know what? You’re right.
There’s a chip on my shoulder,
And it’s big as a boulder.
With the chance I’ve been given,
I’m gonna be driven as hell!
I’m so close I can taste it,
So I’m not gonna waste it.
Yeah, there’s a chip on my shoulder...
You might wanna get one as well.
Elle:
I’m sorry, but that sounds highly negative... wait!
Two jobs plus law school?
How do you do it?
Emmett:
Well, I don’t go to parties a lot,
Not good use of the time that I’ve got.
Can’t spend hours doin’ my hair and stayin’
in shape.
Elle:
I don’t spend hours...
Emmett:
But I know it’ll all be worthwhile,
When I win my first lucrative trial,
And buy my mom that great big house out on
the Cape.
Elle:
That's so sweet.
Emmett:
No, that’s the chip on my shoulder.
I hugged my mom and told her:
With the chance I’ve been given,
I’m gonna be driven as hell!
Though I can’t take the day off,
I just think of the payoff.
You need a chip on your shoulder,
Little Miss Woods comma Elle.
Elle:
I just need to prove to everyone that I’m serious.
Emmett:
What you need is to get to work.
Where are your law books?
Elle:
Um...well I know they’re here somewhere...
Emmett:
You know, this vanity’s real picturesque,
But it started its life as a desk.
Clear it off and find some room for books
instead.
Elle:
What are you doing?
Emmett:
Can you live without this?
Can you live without that?
I don’t know what this is...
Elle:
It’s for hair!
Emmett:
Wear a hat.
Spend your time improving what’s inside your
head.
Out! Out!
Put it in storage.
Sell it on eBay. Leave it behind.
Out! Out! What, are you angry?
Good, so get angry!
You may find
The chip on your shoulder.
Elle:
Ugh!
Emmett:
Ooh! The room just got colder...
Elle:
Hey!
Emmett:
But with the chance you’ve been given,
Why are you NOT driven as hell?
There’s just no way around it;
You gotta plow through till you...
Elle:
Found it!
Emmett:
...Been reading it hard, I can tell...
Greek Chorus:
‘Tis a gift to be simple,
‘Tis a gift to be free.
Mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm
mm mm mm...
Elle:
(Calling out door) Bye, warner! Have a great
Thanksgiving! Say hi to your Mom and dad for
me! And Grandma Bootsie!
Emmett:
Define Malum prohibitum.
Elle:
“Malum prohibitum” is ...
Emmett:
An act prohibited by...
Elle:
Prohibited by law! like jaywalking! Or chewing
gum in Singapore.
Emmett:
Therefore “Malum in se”...
Elle:
Is an action that’s evil in itself! Assault, murder,
white shoes after labor day...
Emmett:
Good. where you going?
Elle:
Home, of course. it’s Thanksgiving break,
remember?
Emmett:
Interesting.
Elle:
What?
Emmett:
Well, I predict you will probably pass....
Elle:
Yes!
Emmett:
...in the bottom percent of your class.
Elle:
What?!
Emmett:
If you’re going for mediocre?
You’ve done great.
Elle:
That’s not fair!
