Chinese Waiter:
He dine and dash me!
He chew and screw me!
He sip and skip me!
Police Officer:
What?
Chinese Waiter:
He no pay for his four Scorpion Bowl!
Davey:
I'm the kind of guy who can't stand a holiday,
So I drink 'em all away, that's me.
I don't decorate no trees,
And I won't eat no potato latkes.
But I'll give this old lady's melons a squeeze,
That's just who I am.
Old Lady:
Hey!
Davey:
Well, I'll never spin a dreidel but I'll always throw an egg,
Then I'll Charlie horse your leg for laughs.
While you're singing your holiday tune,
I'm acting like the town buffoon.
Whippin' out my big, white, scary moon,
And blowin' a beef your way.
I hate folks who think reindeer are cute.
To me they're just something to shoot.
I hate love, I hate you, I hate me.
Well, I'm a snowmobile stealin',
No " 'tis the season' " feeling kind of guy!
This time of year sucks so I take my nunchucks,
And make sure every snowman die!
Belivin' in Santa's all wrong,
And Chanukah's eight nights too long.
I hate love, I hate you, I hate me.
I hate love, I hate you, I hate me.
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